I was unaware of your presence in pure form ,
The night I had my doors crushed in storm .
When every thing faded into darkness ,
Putting off the light of the lamp which was in place .
I extended my arms towards the sky
to whom to conform .
I remained in darkness considering it a dream ,
The storm , I hardly knew , was in fact
your victory's gleam .
When I opened my eyes in the morning light ,
I found you standing - what a charming sight !
On the swathe filled with emptiness , out of norm .
Very good attempt indeed. "Jhar je tomar jayaddvaja tai ki jani" has been expressed as victory's gleam, whose victory? It is not 'my' but 'your'. 'Thy' would have been an approopriate translation. However. it is far far better than your earlier attempts. Keep it up.
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